Our words have POWER (that’s why I won’t use these in my marketing)

This transcript has been automatically created and minimally edited/formatted. As such, there may be some errors in the text.
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[Episode preview]

I think it’s so easy in online business to feel like our words don’t have power. I see this all the time. Even when people are creating marketing content or messaging, they just feel like, oh, I’m just putting this out here and like no one’s paying attention and it doesn’t work. And all of that. And what I always remind clients is our words literally do have power. Our words literally have so much power to shape our reality. You know, even thinking about the type of language that you use in your messaging, the type of language that you use in your marketing directly affect and actually in many ways directly determine the type of client that you attract.

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[Podcast Intro]
Hey, welcome to the Sustainable Success podcast. This is your home for honest conversations about building and running an online business that brings you as much joy as it does revenue. I’m Carly Jo Bell, the Sustainable Success mentor and your guide on this journey with self trust as your North Star and foundations under your feet, you’ll be able to look external for ideas, internal, for answers and build your business your way. Let’s dive in.
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[Episode begins]

We have the power to shape our industry for the better merely by being more intentional about the words that we are using. If you’ve ever worked with me, you know that I always tell my clients that we need to use the language that their clients are using when we’re creating messaging, when we’re creating marketing, when we’re doing lead generation sales, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera. So my clients come to me using whatever words, obviously they’re going to use to talk about their work. And if I even have one inkling that this is their language and not necessarily their audience’s language, I’ll always ask, is that how your people would say it. Now, I was working with a client and to be honest, I’m a little embarrassed to admit this, but I kind of want to show you that we all make mistakes, right? So I was working with a client on their messaging for a free event that she was planning and she shared some language that her clients use that I kind of feel personally is outdated language, maybe language that used to be accepted. But really that has come to really no longer be politically correct and frankly, probably shouldn’t have even been accepted language in the first place. The language was first world problems when she first said, oh, my clients say this language, I had a little twinge of um maybe we should find different language here, but I actually very quickly turned off that little kind of inner knowing and I pushed that aside and I shifted into marketer Carly and I was like, well, this is what she is hearing. Some of her audience say so. Yep. OK. How do we create effective content? How do we create effective titles for lead generation events and that kind of thing? Well, we use their language so literally, without even thinking too much about it, I was like, is this their language? It is great. We’re going to use it. That client went ahead and used that language in a few different places. And I didn’t really second guess it until she then published a couple of those places where she was using that language. And she herself got wiser and realized something doesn’t feel right about this. She looked it up herself. She went ahead and decided not to use it. And she reached out to me to kind of be like, hey, I’ve decided not to use this because I, I actually don’t think that this is language that I want to be using. This language doesn’t actually feel good to who I am to what my values are and to the experience that I want to create with my brand. Now, I’ll be honest when she first came to me and she said that all my word, I was like, duh, but to myself not to her, I was like, of course not like, of course, this is not language we want to be using. And so I brought this to one of my coaches at the time. My, one of my anti, well, my anti racism coach, I only have one. I brought this experience to her and kind of talked it through with her. Like, how did I just completely skip over this and not even pay any attention to this part of my body that was like, uh uh that is not the right language to be using. And in that conversation is when I realized that when my client first brought that term to me, because I had asked her, you know, like, what’s the language that your people use? I had to choose in that moment in a split second between what my brain said would be quote unquote, effective marketing and language that I actually align with. And I chose effective marketing. Like I said, this is a little embarrassing to be honest to like share, but also I want to share it because this is why I want to have this conversation here today. This was a sobering moment for me. It was a little bit of a wake up call and it opened up a deeper conversation within myself on how I personally want to balance effective marketing with values l language. There would be people in the world who don’t see a problem in using language like that. And yet when I actually look at what my values are and when I actually look at how I want to not only see the world but operate in the world exist in the world who I wish to be, especially as I do have somewhat of a platform to lead from that is not language that I want to use. And so yes, there is definitely reason to use language that our clients are using. And we always want to really look at what is the language truly that I wish to be using. And really even if clients are using that language, how can I then become a little bit more of the shift here to support people to actually use slightly different language. I often will talk about how in the culture of speedy success as opposed to the culture of sustainable success that we are working to build here at HCO in that culture of speedy success. A lot of that journey towards success is success is driven by success at all costs, which then means that there are compromises that we make along that journey in the attempt of trying to quote unquote, get there. A lot of these compromises are things that we don’t actually think consciously of. It’s not even necessarily big compromises. It’s not like you’re going and doing something that you entirely like with every fiber of your being morally disagree with, but you’re gonna do it anyway because you have to or whatever it’s compromises that frankly are quite small that we don’t really think about or even notice until we have some sort of wake up call like I did in this moment of realizing whoa I chose effective marketing over my values. Like, OK, these compromises though, I think they show up in a lot of different places, they show up in how we build offers, they show up in how we price offers, they show up and how we sell. But what I want to specifically hone in on here today is the compromises that sometimes do show up in our language, in our messaging in our marketing and things that if we were to really allow ourselves to think about them, we actually might not choose to use them. Now, I’m gonna share some words that I’ve decided that I will no longer use in my marketing because they do not actually speak to what I am desiring to build and contribute to in this online business world and really world at large. But I’m not gonna pretend that just because these words aren’t right for me that they aren’t right for you, right? My invitation here is of course, as always look external for ideas and internal for answers. That’s that whole co model because again, I’m going to say some things that I personally feel do not align with my values, but you might not feel that way and that is OK. There’s nothing wrong with you. You get to ultimately choose what is right for you and particularly within the confines of this conversation here today. My invitation to you is to use these words that I’m sharing right now that I will no longer be using my marketing in my messaging as inspiration for you to really look at what language do I not want to use? What language maybe am I using? That doesn’t actually align with the worlds that I desire to contribute to. And again, you might find words that are on this list. You might find words that aren’t on this list. All of that is OK. And I’ll even give another invitation here if you feel like there’s a word that I should have on my list. Although let’s not use the word should that you think that I would agree with or that you think that would make a lot of sense with what I’m doing here at HCO. I invite you to come over to the big heart of entrepreneurs group and share that with me. And by no means is this list, I’m about to share exhaustive. I know that there are words and phrases that I would like to put on this list that I probably just didn’t remember as I’m recording here today. But anyway, this is what I have come up with with words that I will not use in my marketing because I do not believe that they contribute to the world, the online business world and world at large that I am desiring to contribute to the number one word that I do not use or if I use it, I use it in like a explanatory way of why I’m not using it. The number one word that I will not use in my marketing in my messaging is secrets. Now, if you look around this online business world, like you could just stretch out your arm and hit the word secret, like the word secret is frankly a very powerful marketing word. It’s something that, you know, when there’s a secret to success, there’s a secret to, you know, some result that you’re looking for a secret to messaging that attracts clients. The secret to sales that I don’t know. You know, there’s this word secret is everywhere because it’s very powerful when you feel like there’s a secret to something, then it taps into that part of you that feels like why can’t I figure this out or what am I missing here? So if there’s a secret now there’s an answer and I wanna get that answer so that I can actually get the result that I’m looking for. But that’s actually the exact reason why I will not use the word secrets. Unless of course, I’m literally talking about how there are no secrets around here. Because when we think about this word secrets and how it interacts with our like literal physiology, our brain and everything it taps into a part of us that feels like we do not have the answer and therefore that we must go find this secret that everyone else outside of us seems to know that we don’t but hear what I really said just there, this language of secrets taps into the part of us that feels like we do not have an answer. Do you want to work with someone who feels like they are incapable of finding the answer? That feels like they do not have an answer themselves. Think about even the whole Kat, right? Look external for ideas internal for answers. If I’m using the word secrets, what I am literally saying is come to me because I have the answer. You can’t find it. I have it and it’s a secret but I’ll share it just with you. Now again, you might be listening to this and you might be someone who’s like, but Carly Secrets is a very powerful marketing word. I feel like I use it in a really like good feeling way. I’m gonna keep using it if that’s you. Great. Go for it just the other day. There’s actually a coach that I really deeply admire that I align with so much that I have purchased from so many times like that I really think is an amazing human doing really amazing work in the world. And one of their events had the word secrets in it. And I was kind of like, oh, that’s a bummer and yet I know that they’re doing what they think is best and maybe they feel ok with the word secrets and I don’t, that’s ok. That difference is ok. But the word secrets for me used in messaging, used in marketing isn’t contributing to what I wish to contribute to. What, which world, what reality I wish to contribute to because I want to contribute to a world where we look external for ideas and internal for answers. Me having the secret doesn’t do that. The next word I’m not gonna use is perfect. Ok? I don’t know about you, but I feel like over the last maybe a year or so, I’ve seen more and more people talking about this idea of a perfect fit client. If you’ll notice I talk regularly about Right Fit. And that’s very intentional because in my view, there is no such thing as a perfect anything including a perfect fit client. Now you might be hearing me talk about this Carly Perfect Fit Right Fit like, you know, kind of the same thing. And yet I’m a huge fan of new ones. If you knew one thing about me, it would be probably that I am like, wait a second, let’s really look at that. That is just how I am in every area of my life. It probably is a little annoying for some of the people close to me. It’s fine and I know they love me for it in other moments too. But when I led a program last year called Integrity Led expansion, like a co facilitated it with somatic trauma specialist party shot Dis Monday, we kind of came to this moment of, we were thinking about this idea of like dream clients. Like, how do we attract dream clients? How do we attract them? How do we identify them in, you know, this kind of no man’s land where some people come to us and like, how do you tell in a conversation with someone if they’re a dream client? And when we landed on that word dream, and then we kept talking about this idea of the right fit client. We came to a moment where we realized, you know, it could be so easy for someone to think, oh, this person that this potential client that I’m talking to is either a right fit or not a right fit and to kind of turn into a little bit of like a perfectionist around this idea of trying to find exclusively their right fit client. But where Parijat and I landed as we worked through this and really thought about how do we support the people who take this course to not kind of get stuck in that perfectionism. What we landed on is a single sentence and that is there is no such thing as a perfect fit client. There is only right fit and right fit exists on a spectrum. Let me say it again because this is important. There is no such thing as a perfect fit client. There is only right fit and right fit exists on a spectrum. Some people will be more of a right fit than others. And if we are stuck in this kind of idea of trying to find these perfect fit clients, then what’s gonna happen is even if we think that someone is a perfect fit at the beginning of working with them or when we’re in that sales conversation with them or whatever it is, when we actually work with them, we are going to hit a moment of disappointment because we’re going to find out something about them or they’re going to just have a normal human moment that makes them not a perfect fit. And that’s really because nothing in life is perfect. And of course, you can argue with me. Everything is imperfectly perfect. And so therefore it’s perfect. But even that we need to say that with nuance, we need to have a deeper conversation around this word perfect because if we are chasing perfect in anything, but I’m just talking about it in regards to clients here. If we are chasing perfect, we are going to basically always set ourselves up for disappointment because no human, no client is perfect whether or not they seemed perfect at the beginning and trying to call in a perfect fit client sets you up for pain, but also sets them up for pain because when they do inevitably have that very normal human moment where they are no longer a perfect client where they do something or say something that challenges you that frustrates you that, you know, maybe even triggers you in some way, right? Because humans working with humans, we’re gonna trigger each other here and there. You are going to be hurt by that. But they’re also then going to be hurt because it’s going to feel like they’ve fallen off of a pedestal without even thinking about it by trying to find perfect clients. Perfect fit clients. You’re kind of putting your clients up on a pedestal that they are going to fall off of. So the word perfect, I’m not gonna use it. I don’t use it and I just have no plans of using it because again, does this word perfect actually contribute to the world that I am trying to contribute to, to the reality that I’m trying to contribute to? I don’t think so. It doesn’t actually, from my view, it doesn’t because what it does is it sets everyone up for disappointment and pain at the hands of really normal natural human life things. Some more language. This one isn’t just a word. This is a phrase that I’m not gonna use, although I have used it before. So let’s be clear about that. But I have decided, especially after the story, I just told you where I realized that I was choosing effective marketing over values L language. I decided I’m not gonna use this anymore. And that is the last anything you’ll ever need. The last course you’ll ever need the last program you’ll ever need. The last anything you will ever need. Now, hear me on this one again, this is very effective marketing language. The last course you’ll ever need to create your dream business. You know, it’s really effective marketing language because again, it taps into that part of us that is frustrated with the searching, frustrated with, I’ve tried this and I’ve tried this and I’ve tried that and it didn’t work. But it’s because that language taps into that part of us that is frustrated with searching. That’s actually why I’m not gonna use it because again, do I want to work with a client who is frustrated with the searching and is just looking for the final thing? The last thing they’ll ever need? No, I don’t wanna work with that client. Why? Because when they’re in that energy, of course, we’ve all had that energy. So there’s nothing wrong with that energy. But when we are actually in the midst of that energy where I’m just so frustrated, I’ve tried so many things. Why is nothing working any investments that I make in that energy? I’m typically making them out of a motivation to be saved. I’m typically making them out of a motivation of this is all just so hard and I just need someone or something to come in and tell me what I need to do finally. But here’s the thing with this. Even if the program, let’s say that you’re selling, that you’re saying is the last thing that someone is going to need. Even if it’s the most amazing program in the entire world on that subject. Like literally, if it’s like the best thing ever, even in that case, we humans work cyclically, we grow and expand cyclically. What I mean by that is we consistently come back to the same things over and over and over and over and over on deeper levels every single time. But there is never a point where we are fully done with something, which means that if we’re saying that this course this program, this whatever it is is the last thing that people are ever going to need on that subject. It’s probably not true because at some point, they are going to come back to needing this kind of thing or even a deeper layer of this kind of thing because that is just how humans grow we grow cyclically. I’m a huge fan of what I call transparent and magnetic messaging. The last anything you’ll ever need is very magnetic. Oh my gosh, it works. It brings people in, but it does not bring people in who are actually truly right fits who are in that physiology and ready, truly to transform, ready to do the work that is required to transform because they are just looking for someone or something to finally be that answer they’ve been searching for. But not only that the last course last program last whatever you will ever need is not transparent messaging because it just literally can’t be true. It cannot be true that something is the last something that you will ever need. The next type of messaging that I do not use the language that I do not use. Again, this is more of a phrase and it’s not even necessarily like a specific phrase. It’s more of an idea of a phrase. And this is that kind of like cryptic, the biggest mystique type of messages. So, you know, you’ll see this all over the place. It’s like the biggest mistake you might be making when trying to get more visibility, the biggest mistake you’re making in your marketing, the biggest mistake that I don’t even know, I can’t think of another example. But you see this language all over the place and you see it everywhere because again, it really freaking works. The biggest mistake I might be making in my marketing. The biggest mistake I’m making in my sales calls, the biggest mistake that I’m making wherever I’m like, oh I wanna know am I making that mistake? And so it draws me in. But again, leading with this, this is actually leading with fear. It’s pulling on the parts of me that are afraid that I am making a mistake. Do I want to activate that part of my audience, of my community of my clients, prospective clients? Do I wanna activate that fear? Part of them in order to invite them into an investing decision? No, I don’t because to me that doesn’t contribute to the world that I wish to contribute to again though it works. And this is, I mean, I hope you’re seeing there’s a theme in a lot of this, a lot of the way and the language specifically that we have become very desensitized to, that has become very normalized in this online business world is language that works. But that at least when I think about it is not language that actually works. Here’s what I mean by that this kind of language, the biggest mistake secrets, perfect. The last program you’re ever gonna need this kind of language really does work if your definition of success is making more sales and you might hear that and you’re like, well, Carly, yeah, that is kind of the definition of success. And I invite you to look even further beyond that because if your definition of success is making more sales, then what’s gonna happen is you end up making compromises along the path in order to make more sales. Because as we’ve seen, even with just what I’ve shared so far, this language actually isn’t attracting a right fit client. This language for the most part is attracting a client who is motivated by looking for someone to save them, looking for a strategy or a person or whatever it is to save them, to get them out of their pain. How I define success? At least in terms of my marketing is not, am I making sales or am I getting leads? But am I attracting right fit people? Because if I’m attracting right fit people, then I can move them through my sales process and bring them in. And then yes, I do make more sales. But my number one priority is not to make sales. That’s a by-product of my number one priority which is to attract right fit people into my right for them work. So I’m not going to use language like the biggest mystique because that might attract people. Absolutely, but it’s not attracting the right fit person for my work. And so it’s not actually successful, even if it quote unquote works at bringing potential clients in the next language. I’m not gonna use that this one like it took me a while to understand why it bothered me so much. But it’s language like bulletproof or recession proof, you know, I think about a year and a half or so ago at this point when there was a lot of talk here in the US about like we might go into a recession or we might even be in a recession. There was so much messaging in the online business world about like recession proof your business. And it did kind of bug me then, but I couldn’t quite understand it until one day it hit me. Oh, well, the reason it bugs me is because there’s really no way to recession proof anything. Nothing in business really is recession proof, nothing in business really is bulletproof. Now. It might be more set up to survive a recession. Absolutely. But we cannot guarantee that something is going to be completely untouched by global events by external events because we can’t control the external events. We can’t control the things that are going to come up in the future that we don’t even know about, even if one of those things is say a recession. And actually, you know, as I, as I was even preparing for this episode today, thinking about what I wanted to talk about and why I want to talk about recession proof, all that I was like, I kind of laughed to myself because I’m like, actually there might be one thing that you could do to like recession proof your business and what that is is building your capacity to withstand things like recessions and keep moving through them. But really like, you know, all of this messaging about recession proof your business or the bulletproof strategy for 100 K in your first year. I don’t know, you know, I don’t use that language so I don’t even know how to use it, but all of that messaging is again, really tapping into our fear of there’s a recession coming or our feeling of when I do this myself, it’s not successful. So maybe this strategy that someone was saying is bulletproof is going to be the right thing for me. But again, do I want to tap into people’s fears about these external events? No, because again, is that attracting the right fit person into my right for them work also? No. Therefore, is it contributing to the world that I wish to contribute to also? No, I don’t want my marketing to be the thing that makes someone outside of me afraid of anything, but especially of things that we cannot actually control like recessions and global events. The next one is one that we’ve talked about a ton before here on the Sustainable Success Podcast. So I’m not gonna go into it too much, but I no longer use money promises in my marketing because, you know, there’s no many things like a 100 K in, in six months or anything like that or you know, I don’t want to use these money promises in my marketing, in my messaging. If you are wondering why I have a whole episode about that. Look back on the Sustainable Success Podcast. We li I think it’s literally called why I no longer use money promises in my marketing or something along those lines. The next one that I’m not gonna use should really come as no surprise. And that is the word should. Right. Are we surprised here? Are we surprised that I choose intentionally to not use the word should? And this one, it’s not really that the word should, but why am I not using the word? Should? I’m not using the word should because I actually can’t use it in an in integrity way because especially in like something like a podcast episode, but it’s prerecords or a piece of content that is going out to a bunch of different people. I actually can’t say with any amount of certainty that you should do something purely for the fact of I have no idea who’s gonna be reading the thing. But also even when I’m working with a one on one client, let’s say, right where I’ve been working with them, maybe even over a year, I really know that. Well, am I going to tell them? Hey, here’s what you should do. No, why? Because again, is me telling someone what they should do, contributing to the world that I wish to contribute to. It’s not what I want to contribute to the world is the whole Kato look external for ideas, internal, for answers. And so if I’m coming in with, here’s what you should do, then I am actually in a really, I think kind of under the surface way, like in a really small way, even sometimes, but I’m actually overstepping my own like authority and agency as a human and taking some of their agency away from them. I’m saying here’s what you should do, which then because I am naturally in a position of authority purely for the fact that I’m the business owner. I am talking about, you know, things with expertise and all of that because I am naturally in a position of authority. When I say the word should, it immediately oftentimes without even realizing it overrides whatever my client or my audience is thinking that they would like to do. Our thinking is going to be right for them. Now, some people of course, like have the capacity to recognize and like step outside of sh but I’ll be honest, most of the world does not, most of the world hears the word should and goes into a little bit of a fear response of, oh my gosh, I need to do that. This person who seems to be the speaking very authoritatively about something says that I should do that. Ok, I need to listen to them. Is that coddling, right? Like I’ve, I’ve had some people push back sometimes when I say things like this, they’re like, well, you’re kind of coddling adults. Like you also talk about how you need to let adults make adult decisions. Like you not using that word is kind of saying that they don’t have the power to step outside of the shoulds or not pay attention to what they don’t want to pay attention to and I don’t believe it’s coddling because I have to recognize again by being the business owner, by being the person that people are trusting around certain topics. I am naturally in a position of authority. There is a power differential and because I have power, I have responsibility to use that power. Well, and this is not me even saying like, oh, I have a, I had this huge audience because I don’t, I have this huge audience and you know, so I’m like this big authority or whatever. That’s not how I’m saying it even I’m saying, even if you’re brand new in business and you’re just working with one client and you have an audience of like five people, you still have a power differential in your favor because you are the business owner. And so there’s a little bit of a kind of expectation that you are the person who knows the quote unquote right thing. So this power differential, we have to be really conscious of where that’s showing up. And then when we are the one with more power, of course, working to level the playing field, but also being very responsible with that power. And recognizing if I use language, like the word, should, people are going to naturally listen to that, which again, makes should a very strong marketing word. But is it contributing to the world? I wish to contribute to? No, the last one that I could think of as I was planning this out again, there might be more on this list of more language, more words, more phrases that I’m not gonna use in my marketing. But this one, I see it everywhere, especially as they kind of come to the end of the year or the end of a quarter even or like if something big happens, like when chat and GP T first came out, this was happening a lot, this language and this language is the future of something, right? A lot of times people will be like, you know, the future of online business or the future of sales, the future of marketing, the future of yadda, yadda, yadda, the future of A I, you know, and when we use this language, what we’re actually kind of doing is essentially making some predictions and I think making predictions is OK. So long as there is some transparency around this is just a prediction and um kind of like general energy around the prediction of I cannot guarantee that this will be true. I am not some authority who has seen the future. This is just kind of what I am guessing. The reason that’s important is because what I actually specifically notice is that this language of the future of again, future of marketing, future of sales, future of whatever is often used most in people’s businesses where their audience is actually like newer to the online business world. And I can only specifically speak to this like to in the concept of online business because that’s obviously where I exist and where I also see a lot of people speaking to, but I’m sure they use this language of the future of, I don’t know the future of health or something like that in other places. I’m not sure. So I’m gonna only speak to it here in the context of online business. But I do find that the people who use this language, the most tend to be the people whose audiences are newer online business owners, which means that those people don’t have a ton of context or like the trends and the way things happen in business and they don’t also have a lot of like context of what they actually need to know about business, about their own business specifically. And so when they hear language, like the future of the future of sales, the future of marketing, they kind of again go into a lot of times, a little bit of a fear response and it’s, oh, I need to pay attention to this because this person knows something that I don’t. Now, there are places of course, in life in business where someone outside of you is going to know something more than you know it, of course. Right. Like, I probably know more about building the foundations of business than a lot of people listening to this podcast do. That’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with like recognizing if you know something specific about a specific subject. And as soon as we start putting ourselves on a pedestal, right before we’re talking about putting our clients on a pedestal. But as soon as we start putting ourselves on a pedestal of, I know more than you do. I know the future of online business. As soon as we put ourselves on that pedestal, we’re now actually playing even more deeply into a power differential that often the result of that power differential is causing a lack of self trust in our audiences is that the world that I wish to contribute to. No. So that’s my list again, not exhaustive. But those are things that language that I know works. It’s language that is very normalized in this online business world. It’s language that I even have used some of these things throughout different eras of my business. And when I really ask myself, what world do I want to contribute to that language, none of it contributes to that world. Now, there are a few things that I’ve thought about more but aren’t actually things that I’m like, yeah, for sure. I’m not gonna say that anymore. So I wanted to bring these into because I think they’re, they’re worth playing with one word that I’ve thought about more that I’m like, hm, I don’t think I actually wanna use this word is the word quick. Now, you’ll see why I’m kind of like uh in the middle about this one because some things actually are quick, right? Like you take my course, the storytellers start, you actually could have your first story written in an hour because there’s about 40 ish minutes of trainings. And then you’re actually hopefully writing your story as you go through. So it could actually be like an hour, hour and a half. And that’s a pretty quick amount of time to like both learn how to write stories and then create your first story as well. And I also feel that there is way too much normalizing around fast results in business. And I don’t like that, I don’t like normalizing fast results because even if it’s like, OK, yeah, you could have a story written in that time period. That might be a teeny tiny, very specific result that could happen. But in the grand scheme of business, not much actually happens very fast or if it does happen fast, there has been so much building up toward it. And so, you know, again, I’m kind of like in the middle on this one because some things are quick. Yes and is normalizing and adding to this kind of normalization of things happen fast in business specifically, something that I believe in something that I want to like, you know, perpetuate, not really. So I’m still playing with that one, but I noticed that this word quick shows up all over the place. It’s like oh, I recorded a quick video for you and it’s like, well, even then I am normalizing this video is super quick and in that normalization, I’m actually also kind of like elevating things that are quick. I’m saying, oh, this is a good thing. It’s a quick thing. I promise it’s only, it’s a, it’s quick, you’ll get it done quickly. I’m actually kind of elevating it and saying that something that is quick is better than something that’s not quick, right? But what if again, I recorded a quick video for you. What if actually a quick video isn’t the thing that serves people in this particular moment, but maybe I recorded a 30 minute video which may not actually be quick, but actually it, what’s gonna serve people more, you know, I don’t wanna elevate something being fast, meaning that something is more valuable. So that’s where I’m kind of at with that word quick. The next one is the word machine. Now again, I’m kind of so so on this, I actually used to use the word machine a lot. I used to think about like the sustainable success system turns your business into sort of a machine. But when I really started thinking about like, again, what world am I wanting to contribute to here? I started really looking at that word machine and feeling like the word machine actually kind of like creates this idea that you’re not going to have to do much of anything except for maybe like, you know, occasionally clean the machine uh in order for your business to keep running, it’s just gonna be a machine. Now, it’s this thing outside of you and it’s just going right. And it also kind of speaks to it as though it’s like taking life out of it, obviously machines. Right. Those are things that are not, well, hopefully sentient machines are things outside of kind of our humanity. And there there are very valuable machines, of course in the world, but is the kind of business that I want to run a machine. I don’t think so because I want my business to continually feel like a warm hug. I want my business to continually feel like a living and breathing thing. I don’t want to take its humanity out of it. I don’t want it to turn into a machine that then just runs. I don’t have to do anything with it. I actually switched to this language now where I used to use the word machine into the i into the language of an ecosystem. And I really, I love this word. I’m so excited about it because an ecosystem is inherently breathing inherently alive, inherently teeming with life. And yet it is also still existing without too much external intervention. Now, of course, building an ecosystem from the ground up, takes a lot of work. It’s not just like, you know, I’m gonna create a food forest in my backyard and that’s now done in 30 days. It’s like, no, this is like a multiyear process to build an ecosystem where there was not one before. And when I thought about that, I’m like, oh my gosh, that is the language of business. Because in building a business, you are literally, especially if you want a sustainably successful business, you are building an ecosystem, you are building a food forest of sorts where you are having to go in and start from nothing basically, right? Like you have of course, a lot of assets in terms of your own inner resources and support systems, all of that. But you are building something from the ground up and you’re having to make sure that you’re nurturing every part of that ecosystem until it can come to the point where it is self sustaining and even regenerative in business the first few years who I’m in my sixth year now. And I only just feel like I’m getting to a place where I’m like, wow, some things are starting to be self sustaining, how exciting and even those things, I’m still nurturing, I’m still working with, I’m still solidifying and building up and really equipping to be able to be self sustaining. And even then, I don’t know that everything in business ever will be completely self sustaining. But also, isn’t that the beauty, right? Like I’m not actually working toward again, a machine that just exists completely outside of me and doesn’t need anything from me. I’m working towards something that I can continue nurturing something that I can continue building and continue expanding. Now, that work is gonna be harder at the beginning and probably less hard in a lot of ways later. But I don’t really want my business to get to a place where I’m just like, not there. I want to continue nurturing it. So I want to build an ecosystem, not a machine. The last one I’m really playing with that. I’m not, I’m kind of in the middle on, right? Like I don’t really think it’s like a quote unquote wrong word to use in marketing or messaging, but it’s the word freedom. And I still actually do use this word in different places. So I’m not, you know, I’m not over here like, oh, I’m perfect. I never use this word, but I am being more intentional with where I’m bringing that word freedom in. Because when I think about freedom, I actually can’t promise someone freedom, right? Like I cannot promise someone freedom no matter how great my work is, no matter like how much of an ecosystem we turn their business into. I literally can’t promise someone freedom because I’m not the person who is in control of whether they feel free or not they are. And so yeah, I need to, I probably should have even thought more about like, how do I articulate these thoughts around this word freedom before I recorded this episode. But obviously, this one is still in process for me and I’m still trying to figure out, hm, how do I feel about this word freedom? So, I mean, I’ll leave that one for now, but maybe I can think more about that and publish some content somewhere else about it. Anyway, those are the words that I have chosen to not use in my marketing mostly again because when I’ve run them through that filter of is this language contributing to the world that I wish to contribute to? They’re not. But also the only reason that I can speak to each of these is because for the most part, not all of them, but for the most part, I’ve used all of them. I think just looking at my list here, I’ve used secrets. I’ve used, I probably have used perfect, probably in very small amounts, but I, I probably have, I’ve used the last program you’re ever gonna need. I probably have used the biggest mistake messaging. I, I can’t think of a specific example. I don’t think I’ve ever used recession proof. I’ve definitely use money promises. I probably have used should but not in a lot of places I might have used the future of language. I, I can’t think of an example. Obviously, I’ve used freedom. I have obviously used machine and I’ve obviously used quick as well. So again, I’m not saying any of these things out of like judgment if you’re using this, it’s just for me, I’ve really been on a journey of looking at is my language contributing to the world I want to contribute to. And these are the things that I’ve come to that don’t. And so I’ve decided not to use them. I think it’s so easy in online business to feel like our words don’t have power. I see this all the time. Even when people are creating marketing content or messaging, they just feel like, oh I’m just putting this out here and like no one’s paying attention and you know, it it doesn’t work and all of that. And but I always remind clients is our words literally do have power. Our words literally have so much power to shape our reality. Our words, you know, even thinking about the type of language that you use in your messaging, the type of language that you use in your marketing directly, a fact and actually in many ways, directly determine the type of client that you attract as we’re talking about the word secret, that word secret. Again, it pushes into that part of ourselves that feels like I don’t have the thing that I need. So I need, I must need to buy it from you because you have the secret. But is that the person we want to attract our words have so much power. And if you look at the words that are consistently used in the online business industry you’ll actually see again that this is true because all of these words I’ve shared in this episode are words that you see all over the online business industry and they have shaped the online business industry. All of these words in many ways have created what I call the culture of speedy success. But we can be the people and I truly believe this. I mean, I, I don’t know, does it sound lofty, does this sound ambitious? Does this sound like, you know, I’m, I don’t know, I’m over here like trying to do this big thing. I kind of am and we can be the people who shift and change this. We can be the people who begin to use different language in our marketing. We can be the people who start to be very intentional about what we are saying and what we are doing and what world that is contributing to and it might not change overnight. It actually probably will not actually almost certainly will not change overnight. And yet I do believe that with more of us being this intentional about how our language is contributing to our culture to our world, the more we will normalize this level of intentionality, the more we will change and begin to shift and see differences in the online business world as a whole. And then even from there, I mean, can we change the whole world? Probably not in my lifetime? Probably not in your, in your lifetime. Probably not in anyone soon’s lifetime. And yet can we be that 1% difference? Can we just keep working to make the world a slightly better, more inclusive, more empowering of self trust place? I think we can and we get to start it in our Instagram posts. We get to start it in our emails, we get to start it in our sales calls. We get to start that shift in the language that we are using today. So will you join me in this? And again, I love to hear when you really think about what language are you currently using or have you thought about using? And is that language contributing to the world that you want to contribute to? I’d love to hear what words specifically are you making a decision to not continue using or to just not use it all in your messaging and marketing? Come over to the big hearted entrepreneurs group and let’s have a chat about it. I’ll see you there.

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[Podcast Outro]
Thanks for listening to the Sustainable Success podcast. You’re home for honest conversations about building and running an online business that brings you as much joy as it does revenue. I truly believe that these are the conversations we need to be having more of in our online business community. If you know too, would you leave me a review and/or share this episode with the friends?
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